When does it happen? One day you're young, full of potential and dreams, sassy, smart, pretty and the world is your oyster. And slowly over time you compromise a bit of you here a bit of you there, you adapt to the world around you, grow, develop 'evolve'. And then you look back, and all of a sudeen you're fat, boring, uneducated, uninteresting, jaded miserable bitch who doesn't even like herself let alone justifying true friendship with another human - love seems such a foreign distant experience that its basically just a joke. A sick fucked up joke that someone played on you and your only now starting to understand.
I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing.
When does it happen? That the lights inside fade and you become nothing but a series of compromises? A million short sighted attempts to be happy played out to be nothing but shallow emptiness and longing.
I don't even know what I want any more, how i want my life to be, who I wish I was. I know its not this, but can't imagine it being any other way.
I can't think of a single reason to continue doing it. I just do. Because no matter how many glorious ways I can think of to end it, they all seem nothing but cheap cliche.
It takes blood and guts to be this way, but I'm still just a cliche.
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