For the love of making love?

So, until now this new blog has been simply a place for me to write in stream-of-conciousness to outlet some of the convoluted patterns that churn in my mind daily. Today however the view from my window is tainted with clarity and a complete lack of creativity. This taint, brought on by a weekend charged with heady emotions has left me feeling too firmly planted in reality to serenade in fantasy.

So what do I do? I guess its time to take part in what bloggers do best... Social commentary!

But what subject to select? I am so heavilly opinionated in so many ways where could I possibly start? My first opinion piece should be bold, dynamic and thought provoking, but quite frankly I'm just not pissed off enough by anything at the moment. Sure I feel the urge to gouge out the eyes of random unsuspecting sportspersons every time news of Wayne Carey or whatever over respected, overpublicised ball kicking moron is plastered across each and every bloody 'news' broadcast, sure I have an opinion on day-light savings, George Bush, global warming, whaling, home ownership, the resource boom and human rights, but today I think I want to express my feelings on a subject that is not a major international event or an issue debated for centuries by the scholars of the world. I want to talk about boys and girls and that fascinating basis of humanity, what happens between them... Sex.

As a single woman I find sex is increasingly becomming a focal point of my life. Not in an obsessive way but just in the sense that it is the underlying factor in all social activities... Its in every pub, club, event, class & dinner party. I know I berate my 'coupled' friends for having boring life focal points like home renovations and tupperware but perhaps I am the boring one for spending so much time focusing on sex?!

Go to a party to meet... boys. Go to a night club to dance in an ill-fitting far-too-much-cleavage showing outfit to ... meet boys. Read books based on romanticised conflict resolution where in the end the girl gets the... boy. Watch tv where the ads and shows all tell me that the answer is to be sexy. Its so in your face and so ever present that quite honestly I'm starting to get bored of it.

Now sure, I think sex is a great thing and as most people, enjoy doing it, but I'm starting to think that we are expending way too much energy on the procurement of this act.

And it seems that sex in its basic sense is not even good enough any more. We have to have a repetoire of multiple partner sex, tantric sex and same gender sex. But at the same time still being lady-like and not being seen as too promiscuous.

I was in a nightclub on saturday night (not my normal idea of a good saturday night but there was a particular boy... of course!) so, this nightclub was full to the brim with young adults, 18 and 19 years old mostly when the DJ spun up a song with a huge base line complimented by the very subtle repetative lyrics 'I wanna fuck you, fuck you'. These lyrics were sung out loud by most of the men in the room and mimed by most of the women as we all gyrated like a huge primal seething mass of hormones and fleshy bits.

Now I'm no angel, but that song made me feel like painted over exposed meat and very quickly the whole experience became less about dancing a little bit alluringly for a guy I wanted to impress and became just plain ugly.

I just wonder how many young girls in that room got that 'fuck' they were supposedly after and if it was as good as the Libra Fleur advertisements had lead them to believe it would be...

Dichotomy of emotion (Part 2)

A mighty warrior has fallen as harsh frailty reins triumphant.

Rejoice for the freedom of a charecter bound by cruel reality, a reality that had no place for this not-quite mortal soul.

Lamentation for a friend not quite made. An aquaintence lost to antiquity, a hero none the less.

Goodbye story teller, wize cracker, vindicator and matriach.

Dichotomy of emotion

Having occured many hours hence, here I relay this days view;

"He spreads her as the pages of a fresh book of poetry, virgin to prose. Generously lavishing text of ode, exquisite articulation of epic torrents. For hours the pages, parched as vellum drink of ink as a story between them unfolds. Ode, ballad, sonnet, couplet. Breathing in synchoronicity the poem tells of a woman lost in a landscape desolate of vivacity. The refrain repreated twice of the verse sings the melody of desire renewed."

Rubbish Tip Sunrise

The world's majestic beauty is distributed in some of the most obscure ways.

The view:

"Dyhadrated and pulsating from preservatives she stumbles out in clicking shoes jumping from foot to foot and racing towards breakfast. Clack Clack and then look up. The voice on the radio says 'Religion is great because it controls alot of people who desperatly need to be controlled...'

Her mind replies; No god is distracted by religion. Why bother when they can spend their days mixing colours in the sky?

She reflects on the moments of the night past. A young man a flutter of messages, a touch on the shoulder and a smile followed by recoil and anxiety. Intimidation. I'm your venus, I'm your fire, your desire... Anthema in the distance. Ha! the absurdity but oh what fun!

A stunning sunrise above the festering wound of the rubbish tip. Sadistic beauty at its most exotic.

Giving up on the shoes she drives off into the sunrise to renew the day enlightened."

The first glimpse

A fuzzy head and a slightly slower heartbeat.

Sitting in a small white room surrounded by chaos. To the left a statue of a woman of gold sitting in a glass window. Her fountain turned off, power disconnected yet thoughtful, longing and a reminder of a place in time when hope was needed.

Life brought me here today. A beggining, a fresh start a new view from my miniature window.

What view ?

"A smile crosses her face as she walks through a field. A naughty smile, built on a conciousness of hapiness within, challenged by the sense of unworthiness recieved by jelous others. Its naughty because others don't have it.

Strength, femininity and abundance ooze from her aura with every casual step. finally her heart cries finally its as it should be.

I am strong."