Preparing to step through...

So,

She is evolving. Rapidly. And its wonderfully scary.

The body aches, the head pounds the sleep is short and shallow. The days are moving too fast and the fear is mounting and every thought process revolves around the unknown.

It seems melodramatic, an over reaction and yet, its impossible to supress. Massive change is comming. The ball has started and now the momentum cannot be stopped. Nor should it be.

This chapter has a lifespan measured now only in hours. A quarter century transformation. No longer considered a youth and from there the new life begings.

Goodbye to a place of solice through loss, fear and trepidation. Hello to an unknown world of hope and independance, born of fear yet fantastic.

She prepares to step through the window.

Words of a true friend.

May the force be with you, may ghia embrace you, and by god, remember you can always kick him in the balls if he makes you angry..

Fear of Love

I've come across something just recently that I had heard of but never believed in. Fear of love. Fear strong enough to pull yourself away from someone you could love leaving them desolate and confused and hurt because someone in the past once left you desolate, confused and hurt.

I am compassionate but that, that is something I struggle with. Something that makes me sad and angry at the same time, but most of all, today I am dissapointed.

Dissapointed that someone could tell me that they are afraid of me because I am too much what their heart desires. What a foolish notion. What a brutal way to turn away. What a cowardly approch to life.

Is this just a well rehearsed 'play'? Is this what gets the girls to swoon to build his ego enough to continue on uncommitted, unemotional? Or is this the cry of a broken soul lost in anguish so deep that there is no forseeable happiness even if it is there for the taking?

I have either been played by a master or lost a soul mate and either way, I am bitterly dissapointed.

Giddy.

Giddy. Happy. Confused. Excited. Invited. Success!