Wine loosens the mind

Dear Man,

I am writing to today the truth that I am unable to state. The honesty I hide behind layers of bravado and ego and pride. The honest truth that I have shielded my own self from knowing. the connection with my soul that I have hidden not only from you but from my own concious self

I care about you deeply.

I don't know what that means or how it comes across but I want you as a part of my life and have ever since I met you. I hide behind the concept that I am truelly independant in my youth and freedom. I have told my self in mantra that I am nothing if not alone. That I need no one.

And in some ways it is true. I don't 'need' you I will survive with or without you. But I want to be with you and I want you to want to be with me.

You make my heart beat faster, my pulse race and the blood rush to my core. I desire you, care for you and most of all respect you.

I have offered you my body in the most crass of ways and the fact that you turned me away ssimply confirms that my feelings are rightly placed.

I don't want to change you, I just want you to want to hold me in your arms and comfort me.

You may not feel this way about me, and this honesty may disrpt any chance we have of being 'just frends'. I care not for sex. Though it would be a lovelly sharing between us again, I feel that I would be better off for simply having you in my life.

If only I coukld tell you this in truth. For now I will pretend and play the game that makes me so sad inside and so cowardly of heart.

Not with love but with adoration and respect,

Woman.